At A Total Loss For Words

I am home, thanks to an early departure from the northern hospitality of Wisconsin. Mostly thanks to this damned ear ache and cold I seemed to have picked up instead of fishing.
Wonderful and delightful in and of it self, I am sure here I will find much more interesting things to blat on about.

First And Foremost: Let me be very clear about one point: I do not give a shit who reads this, how they find it, or what they think of it.

It seems the ever (or sometimes no so) present author of this blog, case and point being me, has come under some considerable fire, and had this little tool of my sanity used against me.
Let me reiterate here, I don’t care who reads this, if they like it, and frankly don’t give a damned if anyone finds it offensive.
I know, people out there, and in here all seem to have something to gripe about, I do my fair share of bitching, we all do from time to time.
However, that is why I made this forum, it is my little corner of the universe when I can say what I want when I want about what I want, and if someone does not like it, all they simply need do is read no further.
Yes people, it is that simple.
I know I have no great readership that follows my ranting and raving on any given day, however, I do not really care about that either.
What do I care about? You can ask; and I will tell you:
I care about this being my forum, my soap box, my place to speak how I feel, if it meets with reproach I don’t care, this little gem helps me stay sane….
Ask my shrink…I am about as sane as people come…maybe that makes her insane…but hell it sure makes Erika and I feel better.
This little electric online journaling device may very well be the glimmer into my life people are looking for. If you want to try to figure me out go ahead, if you want to read this and find it offends you good, if you want to read this and look for something that is not there great.
I don’t mention a lot of people by name in here, I don’t call people out, I talk about the mundane day to day activity that is my life. And I like it that way. I don’t ask for anything from this blog except that it be here everyday, and that it allow me to write and spill my guts to those who I do not know who are reading or that I do know and do not know they are reading.
There is no score card for reading this blog people, read it or don’t, I don’t give a shit.

I do know this, I will continue to write about whatever the damned well hell I please about here, and if people don’t like it they simply do not have to read it, bear witness to it, or advocate it in anyway.

This is mine, and I intend to keep it that way.

So as for my lil’ trip to the good ole north, hospitality not with standing, and the scathing reviews of my visit not pondered upon, I did manage to see a lot of people. sure time is always short, and I am a damnable person to some for not spending my due time and course in the right places at the right times, but all in all, it wasn’t a bad trip.

The drive home was another matter completely, and while I won’t dwell on the sticky and icky details right now, my dear friends, let me tell you when a person sets out to push your buttons they can, even from three hundred miles away. Sometimes I need to learn to let things go, and chalk one up for the little demon in my brain who gets the best of me when that angry mob inside my head gets going, but we don’t always shut up, and we don’t always want to listen to the ranting of others at seventy miles an hour.

Indianapolis will always have a wonderful new meaning for me now…thank you blackberry much.

I know, I know I should let things go, but, you know, when I get riled and I do from time to time, I just cant help myself, I should have hung up let it at that, but no no no no, I had to push and have a say too. Well, we all feel entitled to our opinions, and I surely felt entitled to mine today, barely able to talk with out coughing and all.

We all feel entitled, and being this is my blog I feel entitled to say, my earlier post, about “proper families” stands true.

We are all born with a family, like it or not, they are ours, better or worse, we will always have them. Sometimes we don’t see eye to eye, more often than not I am sure many will agree. and so we surround ourselves and build our own families, we build our lives, as adults, and sometimes people don’t see our life as we do, and that is okay, for the most part, when we as children grown up our birth families accept we will start our own family our own traditions, sometimes, we have trouble letting go of the past and moving on, sometimes the past haunts us with it’s tyranny and we have little to say about what was done long ago, except we don’t have to be the people others think we should be. Sure some things in our life we can not choose, I can’t choose to have brown eyes anymore than I can choose to be gay, but how we deal is another matter all together. How we live life and find comfort in the small things from day to day matter.

I choose to have people in my life who love me and accept me just as I am, flawed and all. I choose not to be a judge of others, and hope they do not judge me.

It does not always work out that way.

We often find time and again we will never live up to the standards other people have set for us. We will never be the people they want us to be, never around enough, never quiet enough, never saying enough, never far away enough. Always just on the cusp of what everyone else thinks we should be. Sometimes, that is our lot in life, to learn the lesson “you can’t please everyone.” I personally know I have a long way to go in that area. But with Yoshi sleeping beside me, I know I pleased someone today, he is sleeping fitfully, belly full, toys beside him, and while I may not be able to please everyone, trying hurts almost as much. You try, you get scathed, you don’t try you get burned, either way, Indianapolis would have new meaning for me today, it just came down to which degree of the burn I got, and try though as I did, I got burned...yet again.

“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you get what you need.”

Day 1....Round 1

and this round goes to the dogs, i wonder what tomorrow will bring when we dont have to worry about the dogs not being friends, and actually have to get down to the talking part of.
by the way, my brother is a freaking ass, he said he was going to florida, what a crock of shit, and guess where he is not, not in florida, imagine that, seems everyone but me got the damned joke...egg on face.
the drive what very eventful...maybe some day i will tell you why, lets just say the over 3 hour stint to get through chicago had its consequences, and i did not like them not at all...
thanks to erika i made it through the ordeal and came out clean on the other end...sort of
well yoshi is sitting here next to me and is leaning in with the it is time for bed mom huffing and puffing...
will the fish be biting tomorrow...
probably not....but that is another post all together.

Knowing the differnce

there comes a time when you need to accept the fact that you know the differnce between a good family experience and a bad family experience...

last night we dyed easter eggs with the boys, and max was a riot...all the pink eggs are his...and a few of the blue ones, just ask his hands....

then of course there is the goofy little Ben we love so much, unable to dye eggs at his young fragile age, we took the following picture instead:

yes, he is practicing his gymnastics moves, LOL.

the differnce.

yeah, family is a total fabrication of "proper family" is just irritating to me, have i mentioned i am going to visit good 'ol wisconsin....uh huh, well i have had my good family time for the next week probably, seems the only one who wants me to to visit is my little brother, and he wants to go fishing...everyone else, leaving town or does not care...

and here back in kentucky...i will be thinking about how max says my name, and ben giggles when ever i make goofy faces, it will make it easier to muttle through, who knows maybe i will come back early to be able to see them. to fish with keith, and watch tv with allyson and erika.

what a wonderful dream...oh wait that is my life...

Life is just great

well it is easter weekend, and while i am known for saying i dont like kids, there are a few i just cant get enough of!

case and point, take a look to the right, yes folks that is little Ben, yes, he is in a play pen, and yes that is erika and i's house, yes we have set up our spare bedroom to be not only kid friendly, but it is just for the kids!!!

yes Max, Ben, Lillian, Grace, John Wayland, and all the other little ones, you have a new place to play and yes folks they love it!

Half A Dozen Ways To Color Easter Eggs - Funny video clips are a click away

It is decorated with names, and the pictures painted and drawn by little hands, all neatly hung and displayed with pride by this very pround aunt, i have been very blessed with the knowledge that there are little lives out there that love coming around and love playing at our house, just as we wished for....

the laughter of children in our home, the joy of smiles and juice (um Max and Andrew love the fresh apple juice we make with our juicer...thanks jack lalane!)

and we have even had max ask to come play at our house, proud moments abound, yes we love having them around and we love the fact that they love being here...

summer here comes the sidewalk chalk....

easter here come the colored eggs....

kids....welcome to a place where you can get away with almost everything...and anything....look around...

the sign on the door now says kids welcome aboard...choo choo....no need for the blues....

have i mentioned that i have a thing for the eater bunny is coming to town!!!!

enjoy the clips all...........

hope this doesnt date me too much....but they just dont make em like this any more.....

Here come the crazies

i am once agian embarking on the journey to the center of the universe and of course my own personal hell;

i am of course speaking of the two or three time a year trip i make to wisconsin... this time i have a saving grace...

WE ARE TOTALY GOING FISHING!!!!!

AHHH HAH!

you thought this was going to be some serious depressing post didnt you...

well no i am planning on my trip to wi to be some of my best fishing this year, wonderful water sunny skies and fish...now i mjay have to go with my brother, however, i think i will make due as we go on the hunt for the big ones!!!

The League Of Extraordinary Fishing Partners

There has been a lot of debate lately of the depth of which fishing can save a soul...well i am here to tell you that it cant, but it sure can make the days and nights go by a lot nicer.

Yes my friend and i have been loyally fishing now twice a week for at least the last month, the current forcast calls for trout...

a lot of trout.

and the ever elusive catfish we so lovingly and enduringly go after time and agian? you may ask and i'll tell you you see this weather front coming in from the west over here? well it's going to continue to bring in cool moist air that is going to make fishing for the damned cat difficult, but i see big cats in the future...

dont worry...max we will be having fish for dinner agian real soon you have my word, and if we dont catch them... there are pleanty of these for you to work on....

From The Mouths Of Babes....

Isn't it interesting the rallies and protests that befall our society to keep the GLBT part of society from marrying? the daily onslaught of televangelists who parade their righteous beliefs of hatred and unconditional love for their kind and their kind alone?

Ladies and Gentlemen enter the recent breaking news from Washington DC, the corrupt Senators and Governors, Diplomats to our society that are elected by us to uphold the very values that are set in place to help keep our DEMOCRACY SAFE...

Enter C STREET COMPOUND, WASHINGTON DC...Home to 5 to 7 our nations elected officials who refuse to give the right to marry to GLBT people in this country, who live under the delusional state that they can have mistresses and extra-marital affairs on MY DIME AND YOURS...fuck the hypocrisy in that my friends, forget it!

Please watch the following:









Now think about what you have seen, and heard...they preach to the powerful MEN only to HATE yes HATE their wives...how the fuck does that work...they equate Jesus Christ to Hitler, Osama Bin Ladin, and Lenin...UMMMMM....let me think about this for a minute...

We the people voted for these men...we put them in office to hold up the constitutional values of our country...please! Like the values of Hitler are the values the members of my family have fought and spilled their blood for? Have our loved ones and friends fought and died to defend the ideals of dictatorships and tyrannical leaderships that follow codes of conduct; that follow the suits of men who fall like dominoes when the power they so desperately seek falls away when the lattice they poorly construct crumbles beneath the weighted bastardly intentions of their own egos? These United States were built for religious freedom from oppression, I will be the last person to oppress another persons religious beliefs. If you want to follow a Third Reich Sect of Christianity, fine, as is your right to do so, but DO NOT hide behind a facade of falsehoods, and become elected on the principal of "Family Values" you do not hold to be evident in your life!

Do not lie to your constituents to become the leader you long to be. if your faith and your followings are the truth that sets your hearth and soul at ease why do you hide it in a closed society and shy away from it? if you are truly the ones who are following the Bible the way it was meant to be followed then you should be telling the world, not hiding this truth. would you send even your own families to be scarified to save yourself from the damnation of you God? Your Religion...or is it the damnation of your Group...your peers...

Yea Virginia...even Senators and Governors can succumb to peer pressure!

And still, to hate ones own family, to not befriend ones own wife, i sit here and am left to ponder this, and here i see the following, and wonder if there real truth does indeed come from the mouths of babes...



As Always My Friends...
May Peace Be With You...and May the Force Be Strong In You...
Angie